Thursday, December 4, 2008

Newsletter article

So theres this newsletter that's going around to all the SoCal Church of Christ college groups, and my friend asked me to write an article for the womens only section. So I did....and here it is :)

The “Foundation” of Confidence
By Sarah Beth Hall

My friend Carrenia and I decided to go a week without wearing makeup. It is harder than it sounds, really! We decided this because we needed to remind ourselves that our beauty is on the inside, and not on the outside. Our beauty comes from our heavenly Father, and that is what is important. Psalm 139:14 says “I will praise you, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know [this] very well.”
Today’s society, whether it be television, or magazines, tells us women that we should “wear this makeup and it will make you look ten years younger”; or “use this foundation, it will cover all your blemishes!” Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice, mind you; but that we get so caught up in “improving” ourselves, that we lose sight of the important fact. Genesis 9:6 says that God made man in His image. My own personal translation on that is “God doesn’t make ugly things.” God doesn’t mess up. Why would I try to perfect something that the very Creator of life Himself has created? This week without makeup will be a growing week for me. It is going to push me to realize that my beauty doesn’t come in the form of perfectly lined eyes; it comes from my Almighty God who created me in His image.
I want to end this article with one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised.”

Punk Rocker

So the first time I heard this song, I thought it was stupid. Until I heard it again and looked up the lyrics. The girl, Sandi Thom, has an amazing voice and the lyrics are awesome. Here it is.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair


When the head of state didn't play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and when radio was king
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair


When pop stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
My mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair


When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair


I couldn't get the regular video to imbed... so here's this one... but you can look up the original video

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Reflections

So...here' s list of things I've realized since living in Lubbock

1.How to fall in love with Jesus
2. How amazing my family is
3. Just how much I need my family
4. How much I miss my siblings
5. How country I really am
6. How much I love California weather
7. How much I love the country
8. How huge my house in California is (compared to a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with 3 girls living in it)
9. How rare my relationship with my family is
10. How lucky I am to have the parents I have
11. SACRIFICE
12. How much I love West Texas


Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope your time is filled with Praise, and family, and good memories. I love you all!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Song

Hello my faithful readers! I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been super busy with AIM.. it's wonderful and stressful...and I wouldn't have myself be doing anything else. So I know this is a lame post... but I've just been listening to this song..and it's wonderful...so I thought I'd post the lyrics. :)

Like the Rain by Clint Black

I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you

Every thunder cloud that came my way was one more

I might not get through

On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too

But I never liked the rain until I walked th

rough it with you

I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind

All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind

I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pain

And when I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you

Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now

Just like the rain

When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me

It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't

see

That it's always good and when the flood is gone

we still remain

Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know why you

Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you no

w

Just like the rain I have fallen for you

I'm falling for you now just like the rain

And when the night falls on our better days

And we're looking to the sky

For the winds to take us high above the plains

I know that we'll find better ways to look

into the eye

of the storms that will be calling

Forever we'll be falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you

Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling

for you now just

Like the rain I have fallen for you and i kn

ow just why you

Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling

for you now just

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you

Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling

for you now just

Like the rain

Like the rain

Like the rain

Like the rain

Like the rain

Friday, August 8, 2008

Who, Me? Why ME? SEND ME!!!

I used to struggle a lot with what God's plan was for my life. I remember being brokenhearted, tired, and jaded. I remember lying in my bed, crying, and having this dialogue with God

"God, I give up... I just... give up"

And God said "I know you want to, but you can't"

"BUT GOD!!!" *whiny voice* "Life is tooo hard and I don't know what You want from me... Just tell me what to do...tell me what you want me to do"

and God said "I want you to explore AIM. Step out of the box. You can do it"

"You tell funny jokes, God"

God said: "AIM. Do AIM"

"Um, no thanks...." So I ran. I ran away from God... How do you even do that?! But I did. I ran from church, I ran from my friends, my family, my church family... I just.........ran Obviously, my stubbornness didn't get me anywhere but more disappointment and unsatisfaction. Once again, there I was, crying in my bed, talking to God, bruised, beaten, and tired.
"GOD!!! HEY! Remember me? Look, I know I haven't talked to you in a while, and I'm sorry... but I need your help"

God: "I know, and I'm here. I've always been here"

"Oh, right, that whole omnipresent, omnicient thing...I'm ready to give my life to you"

God: "So... you're going to do AIM?"

Me: "yup. I'm going to do it"

And that's it.. that's the story... I went from being Who, Me? To Why me? And now, finally... SEND ME! I'm in Lubbock and I'm chillin in my hotel room. Anxiously counting down the hours until I can register, move in, and meet my roommates. I have no idea what's going to happen over the course of the next 2 years; all I know is that I'm excited and I'm firmly holding His hand and RUNNING.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know there will be times when I fall... but that's the great thing about MY Jesus...He carries you.

I still struggle with giving Him control... but I'm getting better. If you struggle with these same things, let me pray for you. I encourage you to lean on your family and friends, too.

Lord, thank you for my family, thank you for my friends, and thank you for my supporters. Thank you for sending your Son to die for us. As I enter this new exciting phase of my life, I ask you to help me stay humble, and focused. Please help me shine Your light wherever I go. Please help us to reach people who are broken, wounded, and searching for You. In Your Son's name I pray.


Amen

Friday, July 25, 2008

This is for Lindy

Photobucket


Devil Chicken :)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

"Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in"

I teach preschool...at church. I have for a while now, and I love it. Mind you, they still drive me crazy from time to time, but for the most part, it's a joy. To watch a child's faith form, is an incredible thing. That wide-eyed innocence is amazing. I co-teach with my mom. And we do VBS (vacation Bible school) all year round now.

Usually, we spend two weeks on one lesson. So last week's and yesterday's lesson was about Jesus walking on the water.

Just a quick re-cap. The apostles were in the boat, and Jesus went up a mountain to pray. There was a storm, and the boat was being tossed around. So, Jesus, being the Savior that he is, started walking on the water towards the boat.

Let me just pause for a second and say... WOW... I think, because I was raised in a Christian household, and I've heard it all my life, that I take that kind of stuff for granted.

WHO ELSE could walk on water but my Jesus?... no one...that's who.

Ok..back to the story... So the apostles (being the silly humans they were) got freaked out because people really can't walk on water...And Jesus told them "Don't be afraid...It is I"... So Peter (who proves time and time again to be lacking some common sense) says "Alright, if you're really Jesus, then let me walk out to you"... So Jesus says "ok...come on"Peter starts walking on water towards Jesus....and instead of fixing his eyes on Jesus, he looked down at the waves and the wind, and got scared! Then he started to sink (serves him right!)

And of course Peter yells "Jesus! Save me!"And Jesus extended his arm and pulled Peter up...then says "Why didn't you trust me?"

Why didn't Peter trust Jesus?...

And then it hit me... I'm Peter... I've been trying to raise support for AIM and I've completely left God out of it. Why haven't I trusted Jesus?

I've sent support letters, I've made calls, I done presentations...but what haven't I done?

PRAYED!

I'm Peter... I'm sinking and I'm yelling for Jesus to pull me up out of this water I'm in. I'm splashing around making a big scene...but all I have to do is have faith.

I'm tired of being Peter. I'm trusting Jesus. He knows what He's doing. God has called me to missions... and He's trying to teach me something. But I won't shut up long enough to hear Him. I'm sorry, Jesus for hurting you and losing faith.

So from you, my faithful readers, I bequeath prayers. Pray for me to maintain faith and walk out on this water and NOT LOOK DOWN even when the waves are above my head.


As you well know...music is such a huge part of my life and while I wrote this blog, I was reminded of the Casting Crowns song "Voice of Truth"

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

Chorus: But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

60 views

That's really sad! I've had my blog for 5 months and it's only been viewed 60 times

Seriously? That's 12 times a month....That's 3 times a week. That's not even once a day!

Ladies and gentlemen...She did math without her fingers! WOOO!!!

Now that I've been updating more, I expected people to read it more...aparently not.

Sadtimes, guys...sadtimes. Lol. I'm going to put a poll up or maybe a Pole? Lol ohhh puns...

anyway...I'll create a poll and see if people would read my blog more if I updated more often.

But if no one reads it... no one will vote; ergo, defeating the purpose of the poll.... but I'll give it the 'ol College try!

Monday, July 14, 2008

more poetry

This one's a bit more personal... but no one really reads my blog anyway lol...it's about my sister!

no she's not dead... she just moved to the other side of the world!

When someone asks me if I miss you
I dont know what to say
When someone asks me if I miss you
I tell them "every single day"
When someone asks me if I miss you
the answer should be clear
When someone asks me if I miss you
i say "Whenever she's not here"
When someone asks me if I miss you
I don't know where to start
when someone asks me if I miss you
I say "I'm missing half my heart"
When someone asks me if I miss you
Because they know you chose to leave
So now when someone asks me if I miss you
I'll answer "Only when I breathe"

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Things that are funny to me but may not be to you

So on the news feed I get on my phone... there was a story last week about a kid who was decapitated by a ride at Six Flags

no, thats not the funny part.

So aparently, the kid climbed over the fence of the Batman ride...got too close, and the ride took off his head... It's tragic, yes

But the funny part? The story said "Teenager decapitated by ride... autopsies still being done"

What else do you need to know?

Cause of death...he has no head!

Next thing... let me disclaimer this one by saying that I take AMBER Alerts very seriously and find no humor in the actual abduction or situation

But there is one funny thing
This morning, dad and I were on our way to work and saw a sign for a child abduction

the car? an '84 red PORCHE

not very inconspicuous if you ask me.

Even better was on the way home there was another alert...

The car? A purple and gold RV!

Seriously? What happened to unmarked vans?


I think that's all I had to say

oh yeah, and... 33 days!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Not My Friend

So I was listening to my jazz selection on my ipod at work today and this song came on and I absolutely love it... it's a good emo jazz song...if those even exist... anyway... do you ever have those songs that just perfectly describe how you're feeling at the moment?


this is it. It's called "Not My Friend" by Norah Jones


"Not My Friend"
Help me breathe,
Help me believe,
You seem really glad that I am sad.

You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend that you are.
You made it sting,
Your voice is ringing,
Just like the boys who laughed at me in school.

You are not my friend,I
cannot pretend anymore.

You found a place,
No one should ever go.
I'll be ok,'
cause when I back away
I'm gonna keep the handle of your gun in sight.

Monday, June 9, 2008

"The Office"

No, not the show.



My office...well, not MY office... Technically the office belongs to the Baldwin Park Industrial Center....But you get the picture.



In case I haven't told any of you... I work for my dad now. At a comapny called California Lighting Sales. They're a lighting brokerage. They...(or shall I say "we") are kind of the middle man between the people who manufacture lighting fixtures...and conractors.



Anyway, I work back in the accounting office..I do data entry, cover phones, file, tap dance, whatever they need done... sans the tap dance



Not terribly exciting... but it's a great job and I make pretty good money. And I work full time! YAY! Nepotism at its finest.



The office environment is a funny culture. In alot of ways, this office reminds me of the show. Complete with nutty employees... (present company excluded)



The same people take the same lunch everyday...they all have specific turns at the microwave...they all sit at the same place at the same table and watch the same soap opera everday. They even eat the same thing everyday. It's even the same basic conversation. It's amazing!



One of these days, I want to go sit in someone else's seat just to see what would happen. I'd probably be banned from the lunch room for all eternity. haha.

It's like clock work, though...its amazing

my boss asked me "do you know how to put things in numerical order?"

My response in my head "you mean can i count?"
My actual response:" Sure do!"

My Boss "Do you know how to alphabetize things?"
Response in my head:" do i know my ABC's? YEAH! Wanna sing along with me?I know my alphabet in 2 different languages, thankyouverymuch!"
Actual Response:" Yes m'am"

I think that's all I had to say about the office environment :)for now, at least...

OOH! I get a swipey badge to get in the gates and in the office...i have my own desk/cubicle a computer, even my own extension! YES! I AM important

The office building even has a gym...I plan to start working out on my lunch break...awesome!!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

catharsis

Catharsis

Not her
Not good enough
Not tall enough
Not athletic enough
Not pretty enough
Not thin enough
Not worth my pain

Too much pain
Too many sacrifices
Too much fighting
Too hurtful
Too much sleep lost over you
Too many tears
Too hard

No love
No respect
No time for apologies
No more taking up space in my head
No more crying myself to sleep
No more wasted time

So what
So hard
So wrong
So broken
So hurtful
So... done

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Just wow

There's so much to talk about


But somehow, I can't find words


I'm so completely done... I'm SO ready to go into AIM now.


Onward and Upward!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

one more thing

So when the kids get in trouble, they have to fill out these forms called "stinky fish". Yvonne got in trouble and had to fill one out.

I made a STINKY FISH! choice. My Stinky fish behavior was...
"Ryan made me laugh and he got me in trouble"

Next time I "CHOOSE MY ATTITUDE" I plan to...
"Ryan not to make me laugh anymore"

.....way to pass the buck... you'd make a great politician..


Can we say SPOILED?!

Ohh Children

How I love them! My mom is a teacher and she currently has a long-term sub job for a second grade class at the elementary school I attended. A couple weeks ago, they went on a field trip to the Tide Pools. When they came back, mom had them write a 7 sentence paragraph about their trip. Clearly, that's the worst punishment ever! 7 whole sentences! BAD MRS. HALL! Lol. Anyway, She put them in a book for the parents to look at tonight at open house. Here are some of the top contenders for most hilarious.

When Mrs. Hall says 7 sentences...they'll write them... even if they don't make sense! I'm copying them exactly as they read.... full of punctuation errors and such... for effect. Second graders are the BUSINESS!

My comments will be in italics.

This is by Anna Z.
Today I would like to tell you about tidepools.
First, we saw lots of mussles.
We saw lots of mussels because the didn't want to be in the water.
Second, we had lots of fun.
We had lots of fun becasued we got to find sea animals.
Third, we found a starfish.
We saw a starfish because Mrs. Kim told us.
Fourth, we saw a crab.
We found the crab by see him walking (whiskey tango foxtrot?!)
Last, I hope you enjoy learning about tidepools.

Anna's was written more like an epic poem (please see The Odyssey)


This is Brayden's
Today I am going to tell you about the tidepools. First, there are sea anemones. Second, they look like donuts. Third, we made a list of the things we saw (including this list, Brayden?) Fourth, I enjoyed the tidepools and I hope you did, too!


By: Devon
One day at the tide pools we had a field trip. (hmm, Devon...is your sentence a little backwards?)
George and I saw a starfish, hermit crab, regular crab, sand crab, and a lot of birds. We had a lot of fun. Then we ate lunch.

Devon, you are a thrilling author....The pinnacle of the story was eating lunch.. yet it was at the end of the paragraph... I...am impressed!

Jeremy took the "compare and contrast" approach in this one
Today I would like to tell you about tidepools. First, I went on the bus. It was a long ride.
Second, we had to go down the stairs. IT took forever. Third, we finaly got down the stairs. It was fun to play in the tide pool.
Fourth we had lunch. It was delicious!
Fith, we went up the stairs. It took longer (did the stairs magically grow?!) Last, we went home. It took shorter. (shorter what?)


Ok...now... the one that made me laugh the hardest!
This is Krystal N.'s
On Tuesday I went to the beach. I saw a seagull, starfish, a dead fish and an octopus! Some people saw a jelly fish. But I didn't. (lol @ fragmented sentences) Soon we ate lunch. After lunch I went back to the rocks and found some more stuff (like ambiguity?) MY favorite one was the star fish (favorite one what? favorite ambiguous object?) It was big and orange. I had a fun. (a fun what?! Ohhh Krystal..please don't leave me in suspense any longer!!!) Then it was time to go. I took the sand out of my shoes (good to know...sandy shoes are no fun) We only have five more minutes (until what?! this kid is a regular Agatha Christie) I just looked at the others. Then it was time to go. (hahahahahahahahhaa!!! I just looked at the others? That's AMAZING!!)
The End

Oh wow... I love children!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Batter me, Fry me, and Sell me to the Colonel

BECAUSE IM A BIG FAT CHICKEN!

That's right, folks... I'm a chicken.

I can't talk to people anymore. All of a sudden, I've become too afraid to tell people what's on my mind. When did THIS happen?!



I tell people I'm fine when I'm not. I don't tell people when they do something that hurts my feelings or when they offend me.



WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!?!?!



I was talking to Lola last week about some stuff that was, well, upsetting...and I was all "yeah! I'm great! I'm tooootally fine" Little did I know...My acting skills leave something to be desired. People ask me whats wrong...I tell them nothing....WHA?!



I have a friend who is a waiter at one of my favorite restaurants. So I go in there every so often. Last night he kept making inappropriate comments....i just ignored them...instead of telling him that the comments he made offended me.



When did I lose the ability to communicate like a big kid?



Gaston (as referred to in Shelia's blog), told me that I don't allow myself to be vunerable with people. Well, Gaston, I don't need to expose myself to the world. I allow myself to be vunerable and open with the right people. Several people in my life have proven that I can be 100% honest and myself with them.



So with those people, I shall continue to be open and vunerable. I'm going to work on my communication skills. So, if you REALLY want me to tell you something...you kinda gotta pry it out of me sometimes. But it goes both ways, you gotta prove to me that you're trustworthy.



This past week, I feel like Satan was testing my friendship with one of my friends. It was a really hard, and trying week...but it was a good growing week. I learned how to communicate with this person on a greater level than I do with most people. She has given me a million reasons to trust her and not one as to why I wouldn't be able to. Our friendship is getting really strong and I'm glad that she's in my life. <3

Notice the word that keeps popping up...trust..yeah, I have a hard time trusting people. I don't know why. I've been trying to work on myself lately so that I can be the best sister, friend, daughter, and Christian I can. I want to be the best, and strongest version of me you've ever seen before I enter AIM. AIM is a really hard program to go through. So I'm going to need all the strength I can get. But God designed me to be a fighter. I'm stubborn as all get out...SI SE PUEDE lol yes I can....


On a random side note, my brother is home for like 3 weeks...then he moves to Mexico for 18 months...but still! He's home now! :) It's very exciting!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Inventory..

So every year, my store has to do inventory. What you do, is you have a giant scanning party all weekend. It's daunting, to say the least...but if you have the right people, it's not that bad. Below, you will find a list of things that made me laugh or kept me sane.

1)Making fun of Clay's pants....ok they were like short pants or too-long shorts... Hey Clay, the early 90's called...they want their pants back

2)Making really bad starwars puns

3) making scanning puns with Lauren. "that's just simply...scantastic"

4) Quoting Harry Carey with Josh

5) making up new words to "Sweet Home Alabama" with Karl... "I can't find my apartment....where is 14-52? I really cannot seem to find it...I live next door to a Jew"

6) Karl's random sense of humor at 2 in the morning after very little sleep. "If I could just say a few words.....I'd probably be a better publilc speaker" Me: "Peanuts, John Hancock, Liberacci, Bible...there are a few words" Karl: "Waffle Tank...prostitute" Me:"HAHAHAA you know that when I bring this up, you won't remember it, right?" Karl:"Right"


That's all I can think of for right now. More to come later

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Are y'all ready for this?

**cue music**

I have decided to join the AIM program. AIM stands for Adventures In Missions. Both of my siblings are in the program. My sister lives in Prato, Italy. My brother will be moving to Guadalajara, Mexico in about a month. I'll be moving to Texas in August for 8 months, and this time next year, I'll be moving ...well, somewhere that's not here :). Anyway, I had to write a letter stating why I wanted to join the AIM program. I just finished writing it. So, here it is!! The title is "Really?...You?"



Really?...You?

That is usually peoples’ reaction when I tell them I am applying for the AIM program. If you had asked me a year ago if I wanted to do AIM, my response would have been something along the lines of “No WAY, Jose!” I was adamant about not ”following in my siblings’ footsteps”. I wanted to be “my own person” and be different than my siblings. I wanted to have control over my own life. God was sitting, patiently waiting for me to give Him my life.

I work at Lifeway Christian Bookstore with some of the most amazingly patient, wonderful, Christian people you could ever imagine. I started work there last July. The job has helped me grow spiritually and emotionally. I think that God used it as a stepping stone to prepare me for AIM. I learned how to manage my time better, I learned how to better interact with people. But most of all, I have learned how to really lean on Jesus.

I made the decision to double major in Spanish and Music at Fullerton Junior College. I had my “own plan” for what I was going to do with my life. I auditioned for the show “America’s Got Talent”, I auditioned for solos with choir, and I interviewed for several jobs. God said “no”… to all of them. I was crushed, and disappointed. Ama, a good friend of mine, pointed out that God was interrupting everything I was trying to do; because even though I was praising God in things I did, I wasn’t allowing Him to be the center of any of it.

Through much prayer and thinking, I have decided to apply to the AIM program. I’m sure it is no secret that I am, in fact, related to both Brian and Molly Hall. They have been such great spiritual examples to me. Brian is a leader, and has such a tender heart and an amazing way with people. Molly has this indescribable beauty that truly radiates from the inside out. I honestly believe that she sees people just as Jesus did. My siblings are my best friends and I thank God for them every single day. They have showed me that AIM life is really hard work, but it is a life changing experience. A year ago, I wouldn’t have been ready for AIM but I believe that God has used all of the hardships, and blessings in my life, to prepare me for the program.

I told someone that I was tired of having control over my own life. I’m ready to give my life completely to God and put Him at the center of everything. I want to make a difference, and tell others about the wonderful gift of Jesus Christ. I have a heart for mission work, and a love of people. I feel confident, and ready to enter the program, and start my new life, as an AIMer.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Poetry

I've been writing a lot of emo poetry lately...WHATS WITH THAT? I don't know if I want to put any of it up but it's in my journal...(yes, I keep a journal). I've always had this desire to write music...But I lack the ability. I can write poetry...and I can sing; so you figure it would work out to where I could actually write lyrics...NOPE. Maybe that's just not what God has planned for me. I was talking to one of my coworkers today and she was talking about how she was an art major in college ( a long time ago) but she never pursued anything with it. She said she still has all of her supplies and longs to get back into painting...but just...hasn't. I told her she should take classes at a community college and get back into it. So...she's going to do it! She said she sees how I'm dream chasing and she's inspired to do it. I didn't know I actually made an impact on anyone. I was talking to A on Saturday about stuff and I said I didn't want to be a role model for people. It scares me. she said I didn't have a choice. My view is that there are probably about a gazillion other people out there that would be better choices for role models. I don't know. I'm just going to continue to be the best person I can and show people Jesus' love through all of my actions. My goal is to glorify God in everything I do. I know i fail at that day in and day out. but I'm working on it.

I'm pretty exhausted. Not even physically, but emotionally. I've got some stuff that I'm struggling with that I can't really talk to anyone about. I talked to M about a little of it last night and he was really sweet and understanding...so thanks, M! I'm at an odd stage in life where I'm asking for God's guidance on things and I'm really listening and I get answers...but they don't always make sense. I also don't like it when God says "wait".I hate that! But I'm going to be obedient and wait.

My school is doing the play Les Miserables during the summer...I'm going to audition! So we'll see what happens! I'm off to dream chase some more! Ciao!
<3 Trish

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

And your point is....?

Ok. So I know I haven't posted in a while...sorry. Alot has been going on lately and I HAVE had a lot to say...what I haven't had are the huevos to actually post any of it. Any time I get the urge to write about something...I remember that this is a public forum and EVERYONE can read it. The feeling that comes with that is something akin to a "naked in public" dream. So, therefor, I choose noot to post too much stuff about my personal life.

I saw Wicked today! OHMYGOSH! It was phenominal. Is it possible to be in love with music? Because I definitely am. No offense, boys, but the feeling performing gives me is way better than any feeling a guy has ever given me (emotionally, you sickos!...yes, Shelia...I'm talking to you)

My mom told mem she was glad I enjoyed music...but that it shouldn't be my life...because there are other things in life that are important....

Like breathing and Jesus? Cuz those are the only two things I can think of. Music and performing is totally what I live for.

Shelia's birthday is on Thursday...let me just tell you...I'm going all out! Not simply because it's her birthday but because she is so amazing and does so much for everyone else and never does anything for herself. I can't wait! I <3 Shelia!!

I'm really tired....so I'm gonna hit the hay....

<3
Trish

Friday, February 29, 2008

The past few days...

Have been amazing!!!!

My choir got to perform in ACDA. ACDA does NOT stand for any of the following:
Actually Charismatic Dead Animals
Antelopes Carelessly Drink Acid
Ama Can't Do Acrobatics
OR
And Cheeses Don't Act

It stands for American Choral Directors Association. They chose the top 4 choirs on the west coast to perform... We were one of them!! YAY! I'm still learning the music so I was freaking out. BUT my friends came to see me :o) AF, L, AS,and R! That meant SOOO much!!!

We sang the following songs....most of which you've probably never heard.
1) Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence
2) Dona Nobis Pacem (J.S. Bach) in B flat
3) Psalm 57 composed by MY director, John Tebay
4) Te Lucis Ante Terminum
5) Io Son La Primavera
6) My God is a Rock

We did pretty well on Tuesday but we screwed up the words to Io Son and My God is a Rock. So on Wednesday, we tied up the loose ends and ROCKED IT on Thursday for our performance in front of a whole buncha choral directors from all over. Being able to perform at ACDA is a HUGE honor because it only comes around once every 2 years. There's a reason this is my career...not the blogging....the singing...STAY WITH ME HERE, WILL YA?! There is this indescribable feeling you get when you've moved someone with your singing. I can't even explain it. *dreamy sigh* :o)

Wednesday was good too...It had its trials, of course, but the good parts outweighed the bad. I went to school and found out that I actually did pretty well on the Spanish test I thought I'd bombed. Then went to choir and sang and sang and sang and sang...then went home, worked out, mowed the lawn, showered, and met K at Starbucks at 5. He said it was so pretty outside and he had been inside all day...So we went to the park! We played on the playground....no, there were no children there....that would be weird. And we played and swung on the swing set and played on the teeter totter...then walked around and threw sticks into the water and beat each other up...let me just tell you... I haven't had that much fun in a VERY long time!

then we went to the mall and grabbed a bite to eat and walked around there a while. Upon which time, I was molested by a chair in Brookstone. It tried to hold me hostage! We played the "In my pants" game at Borders..I'll explain so it doesn't sound like some horribly inappropriate game...well....it's mildly inappropriate. M told me about this game. Basically, you take any book title...and add "In My Pants" to the end of it...and it's hours of endless laughter, I assure you.

Then we went into Pottery Barn. Ladies....don't ever take a guy in there....they just don't get it. OH! Williams Sonoma either...don't take them there. Lol ANYWAY...Pottery Barn had a really nice living room set up so K and I went and sat down. All of a sudden...K has an ADD moment and goes "OOOHHH!! A $2,000 chair!!! I wanna sit in the $2,000 chair!...." So he sits in it and looks all dramatically comfortable...then he says..."I need a pipe............and political aspirations." Oh my goodness! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!! It was hilarious....

I was trying to think of what note on which to end this blog....


High E above middle C

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

It's a new dawn it's a new day it's a new life....

... And I'm feelin' good!!


I woke up in the GREATEST MOOD today!! I.... have officially decided to double major...paper work and everything is filled out! I am a double major in Foreign Languages and, you guessed it!... MUSIC! I was talking to my sister/ life advisor and she was joking about which one of us three kids would have a real career first. I've changed my major 87 times but finally decided on those two...She hasn't gone to college yet because she has devoted the past 2 years to Christ and doing His work in Lubbock, TX, and Prato, Italy. My brother, is an amazing human being. I'm not kidding when I say he's a genius. He is SOOOO musically talented. Any instrument he decides to pick up, he can play! It's like magic!! Instruments including, but not limited to the Djembe (african drum) Sousaphone (big honkin' tuba used in marching bands) the trombone (no explaination needed for THIS one) and the list goes on! He is also a VERY talented web designer. He has also decided to devote his life to Christ and do His work. He'll be going to Guadalajara, Mexico for 18 months in May.


So you see, we're quite the eclectic family. Our parents have always been the greatest support. Whatever we wanted to do, they were there, cheering us on and paying through the nose for whatever random venture we decided to pursue. Like when I decided to take up the Bassoon....random, I know.


I am currently pursuing a music career and going to school...and both of my siblings are missionaries. AMAZING. So, I'm not sure which one of us will have a "Real" career first. But then again...what classifies a "real" career? I'm going to keep taking classes, and working, and working and working and working until I graduate college...even if it takes 10000 years! But my ultimate goal is to glorify God in everything I do.


On a random side note, my inspiration for this whole blog-thing comes from Sheila! here's the link to HER blog. Check it out... it's very funny!




Another side note.... Here's what a bassoon looks like, for those who went "whiskey tango foxtrot" when you read the word "bassoon"




Monday, February 25, 2008

Ode to a Choir Dress

That's right...I have THAT much to say about my choir dress so I'm devoting an entire blog to it!!





Is it some kind of requirement that ALL choir dresses be hideous and unflattering? I received my choir dress today and let me just tell you.. Whistler's Mother's got nothin' on me! This dress is quite possibly the ugliest piece of clothing I've ever owned. And that's sayin' a lot! It's black....and boxy....and Frilly at the top....it even has little shoulder pads!.... It's too tight in the chest (go figure) and it's complete with A satin cord that makes it an empire waistline... It cuts RIGHT UNDER MY BOOBS! After fighting with it and FINALLY getting it zipped I ease myself towards the mirror too survey the damage. Hmm... no TOO bad. But now I'm all locked into this dress and I'm not sure if or when the contents under pressure are going to explode.



I was talking to C and I told him that my dress was ugly and he said "Oh. it's not that bad"

My response? "Thats what Ray Charles said"



Easy for you to say, C...You get to wear a tux and listen to people tell you how handsome you are. Us women got the shaft!



But there is a bright side to this whole thing.. It's open in the shoulders in the back so when I turn around you can see my tattoo!



And now... The moment you've all been waiting for



It's black



I'ts unflattering



It's TOO SMALL



MY DRESS!!









It's enough to make grown men weep, that's what it is! The thought of vomiting on it crossed my mind when i saw it...but that may only improve matters.

Though...As I discovered recently...music is pretty much my life and I'm pretty sure i couldn't live without it. I'll do almost anything to be able to perform and sing.... Even wear a hideous dress!!

Done being mean now

Ciao ciao!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Unrequited Love

I've been thinking (shocker, I know) and I feel, there's something to be said for unrequited love. Nope, I'm not a masochist...or a glutton for punishment. I'm simply an optimistic, hopeless romantic looking for the silver lining in an otherwise stormy cloud.

No need to grab your handy dandy pocket sized giant print Webster's English dictionary from your purse... (what? not everyone has one of those?....Oh) Anywho, here's the definition of "Unrequited":
1.not returned or reciprocated: unrequited love.


PERFECT! Thanks, dictionary.com! :)


As I was saying....wait...what was I saying? Oh, right...unrequited love blah blah blah.


I read a quote on N's facebook about unrequited love. It's from the movie "The Holiday".


"It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!" -- Iris, The Holiday



So naturally, after I read this quote, I watched the movie. It's adorable. Totally sweet and mushy...But I digress.



Iris, the author of the aformentioned quote, pretty much hit the nail on the head. Falling in love alone...walking wounded...yadda yadda yadda. So true!



I think that unrequited love has the potential to be one of the most pure kinds of love there is. It's real, and it's scary and it's passionate. All of these characteristics add up to a seemingly dangerous combo...and it is. But anything worth having involves a risk. When you can't sleep because you know that you're going to see them the next day and all you can think about is how to greet them so you don't sound like an idiot...it may be love. If it involves all of that and you TELL the apple of your eye...the object of your affection....the wind beneath your wings (and all those other nauseating cliches ) how you feel and they just can't seem to reciprocate the feelings....It's unrequited.



You sit...brokenhearted...void of any feeling except that lump forming in your throat because you want to cry. But you know that if you start, the tears won't stop and you have business to take care of so you push the tears back, and fight off that feeling for at least one more moment.



Now poses the question... What happens when you give your heart to someone who doesn't want it? (These things don't come with gift receipts, ya know). WHY do we give away our hearts if we're not sure they can be returned? More importantly...What do we do with the tiny pieces of our hearts left on the ground after being ripped to shreds by the carnivorous beast called heartbreak, we once thought was timid, sweet, love? You pick up the pieces and weld them back together....and respect the love for the purity of what it was. For even if not returned, the love you had for that person is sweet, and beautiful...and won't ever leave your memory.

Funny thing about breaks, and mends...Did you know that if something breaks and is welded back together...the STRONGEST point on that object is now on the weld? Same with bones...if bones are broken and then set in a cast, the bones will then grow back stronger than before. I think hearts work much the same. My heart has been broken innumerable times...not just by romance but by other things as well. Sadness in the world...loss of a loved one...Not being able to say the right things to comfort your VERY BEST friend when they're exasperated and homesick. All of these things add up to LOTS and LOTS of heartache. Maybe I should just give up feeling and I'll save myself some heartache...NOTACHANCE! Even though my heart gets broken, I pick it up, and weld it back together. What do I weld with? Not a soldering iron and solder.... but with prayer, laughter, tears and my Bible. For I know that everytime I weld my heart back together, it gets stronger and stronger.

So you see, unrequited love gets a bad rep... It's not a bad thing. It's a beautiful and meaningful thing. It's going to hurt...and you'll cry...and cry...AND CRY (at least if you're me). But I encourage you, friends, to pick up your heart and weld it back together. Because with every heartache comes growth and strength. When you feel like you can't possibly take any more heartache or you'll be void of all emotion forever? That's when the growing happens. Take the risk... Love...for even if unrequited, it's a special thing that's to be cherished forever.

I heard this song a while ago and I really like it. It's called "Broken" by Lindsay Haun
Wake up to a sunny day,
Not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain.
My defenses hit the ground,
and they shatter all around
So open and exposed
But I find strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

Chorus:When you're broken,
in a million little pieces
And you're trying,
but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken.

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are.

No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking

Yeah(Repeat chorus)

Better days are you gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken,
when you're broken

(Repeat chorus)
Oh when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

An Intro, I feel is apropriate

Well h0wdy! My name is Trish...and this is my blog! Nope...Trish isnt my real name. It's a pseudonym...yup that's right P-S-E-U-D-O-N-Y-M...NOT PseudoNAME... First person to call it a pseudoname in my presence will be punished by rabid gerbils singing "It's a Small World Afterall" while feasting on your toes. So basically, I have a lot to say...and I don't like putting everything on Facebook. My friend started a blog and now I'm inspired. This space will be filled with my random thoughts...sometimes poetry...Most of the time, it'll be my responses to music I've heard. I'm a musician and music pretty much consumes my life. As well as Jesus. I'm a Christian and I love God with all my heart. There are 4 things in this world I'm willing to die for:
1) Jesus
2) My family (including close circle of friends)
3) My Music
4) Coffee

in that order. I have some pretty amazing friends. Most of whom you'll hear about in here. I'll probably use pseudonyms for them as well. Any questions, comments, concerns?.....Don't care... no just kidding....