Batter me, Fry me, and Sell me to the Colonel

BECAUSE IM A BIG FAT CHICKEN!

That's right, folks... I'm a chicken.

I can't talk to people anymore. All of a sudden, I've become too afraid to tell people what's on my mind. When did THIS happen?!



I tell people I'm fine when I'm not. I don't tell people when they do something that hurts my feelings or when they offend me.



WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!?!?!



I was talking to Lola last week about some stuff that was, well, upsetting...and I was all "yeah! I'm great! I'm tooootally fine" Little did I know...My acting skills leave something to be desired. People ask me whats wrong...I tell them nothing....WHA?!



I have a friend who is a waiter at one of my favorite restaurants. So I go in there every so often. Last night he kept making inappropriate comments....i just ignored them...instead of telling him that the comments he made offended me.



When did I lose the ability to communicate like a big kid?



Gaston (as referred to in Shelia's blog), told me that I don't allow myself to be vunerable with people. Well, Gaston, I don't need to expose myself to the world. I allow myself to be vunerable and open with the right people. Several people in my life have proven that I can be 100% honest and myself with them.



So with those people, I shall continue to be open and vunerable. I'm going to work on my communication skills. So, if you REALLY want me to tell you something...you kinda gotta pry it out of me sometimes. But it goes both ways, you gotta prove to me that you're trustworthy.



This past week, I feel like Satan was testing my friendship with one of my friends. It was a really hard, and trying week...but it was a good growing week. I learned how to communicate with this person on a greater level than I do with most people. She has given me a million reasons to trust her and not one as to why I wouldn't be able to. Our friendship is getting really strong and I'm glad that she's in my life. <3

Notice the word that keeps popping up...trust..yeah, I have a hard time trusting people. I don't know why. I've been trying to work on myself lately so that I can be the best sister, friend, daughter, and Christian I can. I want to be the best, and strongest version of me you've ever seen before I enter AIM. AIM is a really hard program to go through. So I'm going to need all the strength I can get. But God designed me to be a fighter. I'm stubborn as all get out...SI SE PUEDE lol yes I can....


On a random side note, my brother is home for like 3 weeks...then he moves to Mexico for 18 months...but still! He's home now! :) It's very exciting!

Inventory..

So every year, my store has to do inventory. What you do, is you have a giant scanning party all weekend. It's daunting, to say the least...but if you have the right people, it's not that bad. Below, you will find a list of things that made me laugh or kept me sane.

1)Making fun of Clay's pants....ok they were like short pants or too-long shorts... Hey Clay, the early 90's called...they want their pants back

2)Making really bad starwars puns

3) making scanning puns with Lauren. "that's just simply...scantastic"

4) Quoting Harry Carey with Josh

5) making up new words to "Sweet Home Alabama" with Karl... "I can't find my apartment....where is 14-52? I really cannot seem to find it...I live next door to a Jew"

6) Karl's random sense of humor at 2 in the morning after very little sleep. "If I could just say a few words.....I'd probably be a better publilc speaker" Me: "Peanuts, John Hancock, Liberacci, Bible...there are a few words" Karl: "Waffle Tank...prostitute" Me:"HAHAHAA you know that when I bring this up, you won't remember it, right?" Karl:"Right"


That's all I can think of for right now. More to come later

Are y'all ready for this?

**cue music**

I have decided to join the AIM program. AIM stands for Adventures In Missions. Both of my siblings are in the program. My sister lives in Prato, Italy. My brother will be moving to Guadalajara, Mexico in about a month. I'll be moving to Texas in August for 8 months, and this time next year, I'll be moving ...well, somewhere that's not here :). Anyway, I had to write a letter stating why I wanted to join the AIM program. I just finished writing it. So, here it is!! The title is "Really?...You?"



Really?...You?

That is usually peoples’ reaction when I tell them I am applying for the AIM program. If you had asked me a year ago if I wanted to do AIM, my response would have been something along the lines of “No WAY, Jose!” I was adamant about not ”following in my siblings’ footsteps”. I wanted to be “my own person” and be different than my siblings. I wanted to have control over my own life. God was sitting, patiently waiting for me to give Him my life.

I work at Lifeway Christian Bookstore with some of the most amazingly patient, wonderful, Christian people you could ever imagine. I started work there last July. The job has helped me grow spiritually and emotionally. I think that God used it as a stepping stone to prepare me for AIM. I learned how to manage my time better, I learned how to better interact with people. But most of all, I have learned how to really lean on Jesus.

I made the decision to double major in Spanish and Music at Fullerton Junior College. I had my “own plan” for what I was going to do with my life. I auditioned for the show “America’s Got Talent”, I auditioned for solos with choir, and I interviewed for several jobs. God said “no”… to all of them. I was crushed, and disappointed. Ama, a good friend of mine, pointed out that God was interrupting everything I was trying to do; because even though I was praising God in things I did, I wasn’t allowing Him to be the center of any of it.

Through much prayer and thinking, I have decided to apply to the AIM program. I’m sure it is no secret that I am, in fact, related to both Brian and Molly Hall. They have been such great spiritual examples to me. Brian is a leader, and has such a tender heart and an amazing way with people. Molly has this indescribable beauty that truly radiates from the inside out. I honestly believe that she sees people just as Jesus did. My siblings are my best friends and I thank God for them every single day. They have showed me that AIM life is really hard work, but it is a life changing experience. A year ago, I wouldn’t have been ready for AIM but I believe that God has used all of the hardships, and blessings in my life, to prepare me for the program.

I told someone that I was tired of having control over my own life. I’m ready to give my life completely to God and put Him at the center of everything. I want to make a difference, and tell others about the wonderful gift of Jesus Christ. I have a heart for mission work, and a love of people. I feel confident, and ready to enter the program, and start my new life, as an AIMer.

Poetry

I've been writing a lot of emo poetry lately...WHATS WITH THAT? I don't know if I want to put any of it up but it's in my journal...(yes, I keep a journal). I've always had this desire to write music...But I lack the ability. I can write poetry...and I can sing; so you figure it would work out to where I could actually write lyrics...NOPE. Maybe that's just not what God has planned for me. I was talking to one of my coworkers today and she was talking about how she was an art major in college ( a long time ago) but she never pursued anything with it. She said she still has all of her supplies and longs to get back into painting...but just...hasn't. I told her she should take classes at a community college and get back into it. So...she's going to do it! She said she sees how I'm dream chasing and she's inspired to do it. I didn't know I actually made an impact on anyone. I was talking to A on Saturday about stuff and I said I didn't want to be a role model for people. It scares me. she said I didn't have a choice. My view is that there are probably about a gazillion other people out there that would be better choices for role models. I don't know. I'm just going to continue to be the best person I can and show people Jesus' love through all of my actions. My goal is to glorify God in everything I do. I know i fail at that day in and day out. but I'm working on it.

I'm pretty exhausted. Not even physically, but emotionally. I've got some stuff that I'm struggling with that I can't really talk to anyone about. I talked to M about a little of it last night and he was really sweet and understanding...so thanks, M! I'm at an odd stage in life where I'm asking for God's guidance on things and I'm really listening and I get answers...but they don't always make sense. I also don't like it when God says "wait".I hate that! But I'm going to be obedient and wait.

My school is doing the play Les Miserables during the summer...I'm going to audition! So we'll see what happens! I'm off to dream chase some more! Ciao!
<3 Trish